Posts Tagged ‘Audrina Patridge’

The “Real” Hills: Audrina Is Sooo Outta There

September 25, 2008

On the reality show The Hills, Audrina and Lauren have just tearily recommitted to togetherness. But in real life, Audrina has moved out of her “chateau.” She tells Maxim the move will ultimately make her friendships stronger (yea, that’s what Spencer told Heidi when she moved out on LC, too), but then she says of Lauren and Lo: “They grew up together and hang out all the time; they’re like the Bobbsey Twins.” Ouch!

The Hills: The Eyeliner Runneth Over

September 9, 2008

Okay, first of all: casino jail? So not real jail. They probably have TV in there! Maybe even slot machines!

Like so much in Vegas, the promised jailing of Brody Jenner was revealed as nothing but a Mirage (heh) on last night’s episode of The Hills. As the girls phoned prisons and bail bondsmen (“There’s so many bail bonds,” Stephanie said with a weary air of authority), Brody and Dougie strolled in, looking no worse than usual and laughing about their five hours in casino lockup. Sigh. (more…)

The Hills: The Brodster Takes No Prisoners

September 7, 2008

Does Brody Jenner have an evil twin? Tonight on The Hills, we were introduced to an alterna-Brody. This Brody has stubble and wears sunglasses indoors and seems angry all the time and spends the night in jail and—most interestingly—is some sort of truth-telling machine. I kinda like this guy! (more…)

The Hills: Long Haired Freaky People Need Not Apply (To Be Friends With Lo)

August 19, 2008

My favorite scene from last night’s Hills premiere was when the pink mohawked gentleman above was getting thrown into the pool during Audrina’s birthday party as Lo watched from the kitchen with a disgusted look on her face, as though he was going to dirty up the water. (more…)

The Hills: Our Recurring Nightmare?

August 1, 2008

On August 18, Season 4 of The Hills starts on MTV. That is, if you can make it through whatever lame, two-hour-long “world premiere” that MTV has likely dreamed up to torture us: Red carpet arrivals, some pointless musical guest, and “exclusive” interviews with people like Brent Bolthouse, followed by 15 minutes of the actual show.

As you can tell, I have mixed feelings about the return of The Hills. Let’s face it: That last “bonus season” sucked. I have my doubts that the show can regain the magic of Season 2. (more…)

The Hills: Three Is The Magic Number of Doom

May 6, 2008

photo courtesy MTV

There’s something about a group of three. Especially when it comes to girlfriends. And especially when it comes to old friends v. new friends. Someone is bound to be left out. Lately on The Hills, that unfortunate someone is Audrina. (more…)

The Hills: Would You Like Some Judgement With Your Grapefruit?

April 22, 2008

Photo Courtesy MTV

Ladies, we’ve all been there. You reconnect with an ex for some godforsaken reason (like boredom). Maybe you even fool yourself into being slightly excited about this development. After all, your ex is a good time, a fun guy to have drinks with, hang with (maybe even take a motorcycle ride with!). And he’s changed! He’s stopped drinking, stopped burping, stopped making out with other girls in front of you—for one night at least. So the next morning, before you can help yourself, you’re confiding the details to your friend. The judgey one. (You know the one.) The one who wrinkles her nose, gets up on her high horse, and acts like you’re clearly an idiot. And she would never be so dumb/desperate.  

Lauren played the Judgey Friend last night (she’s getting quite comfortable in that role) on The Hills. Props to Audrina for gently reminding LC about her own nasty habit of recycling boyfriends. To which Lauren said: “I stopped going back to Jason.” Yea, you did. Because he got engaged to someone else right in front of you. How quickly the Judgey Friend forgets! Sheesh.

The ex at the center of the drama, of course, was Justin Bobby, who made his much-anticipated return last night, looking like Indiana Jones in his hat and leather jacket. Shockingly, JB did seem much more on the ball this time around. He actually listened to what Audrina said and even responded! He was also an enthusiastic part of The Most Awkward Table Eva, a historic event that took place at Goa. Other participants included: Heidi, the She-Pratt, Lo, Lauren, and Audrina. The Most Awkward Table Eva was truly a treat. Of course, Lauren ruined it all by bolting. (Seriously, though, how could Heidi think everything would be fine? “Old water under the bridge,” eh? Not quite. Even Spencer, who is amazingly deluded, isn’t that deluded.)

Anyway, I feel bad for Audrina, now the odd woman out. Hearing Lo and Lauren cackle (seriously cackle!) about their plans to torture her future boyfriends was frightening. It seemed mean-spirited. Oh and who pops up next week but Stephen Colletti, Lauren’s Laguna Beach ex! But I’m sure Lauren wouldn’t do anything totally dumb like go to dinner with an ex (especially an ex that played her so badly, dating her and former nemesis Kristin Cavallari at the same time). No, Lauren’s waaaay too smart for that.

Oh and another thing: So Lauren changed jobs just like that? No tearful goodbye with Lisa Love? No montage of best moments from The Closet? It’s not right. I need closure, people.