The Bachelor, Week Three: So I’m watching The Bachelor again. It’s like the bad boyfriend I keep taking back, even though I know only suffering awaits. Ah well. If I have to watch it (and I do, I do), I might as well write about it. Also, it’s too early to go to bed. So! The drama this week made my head spin. I was thinking: Jason is probably one of the most normal-seeming, mature Bachelors in the history of this show…so why is this season so darned nutty?
But before we get to Crazy Town, let’s begin in a happier place…Legoland! Jason took single mom Stephanie on a date, and surprised her by having her daughter Sophia (Sofia?) show up. The threesome headed to Legoland to celebrate Sophia’s 4th birthday. It was awfully sweet. Except. I dunno. Isn’t it sort of early in this process for Stephanie’s daughter to make an appearance? It was only her first date with Jason. Who knows if there’s any there there, and already Sophia and Jason have spent the day together, acting all family-like. (Of course, you could also make the case that when you’re a single parent, you need to know early on whether any potential mate can bond with your kid.) Getting Sophia involved was a weirdly serious move because Jason hasn’t expressed much feeling (besides admiration for all she’s been through) for Stephanie.
Next, some gals went on a group date and made plaster casts of their breasts to raise breast cancer awareness (see photo). This was a welcome activity for Mean Old Megan, who said she’s normally a total do-gooder and has had a hard time not hearing people express gratitude for her presence since she’s been in the house. The bust art show that followed also gave Melissa (one of my faves so far, along with Jillian; am I crazy?) an ideal opening to talk about her breast-reduction surgery.
Somehow, Natalie, with her shiny, shiny tan and limp blonde hair, won a coveted single date. Off she went to Vegas, draped in borrowed diamonds, as the other girls cackled and crossed their fingers that she would never return. Over an awkward dinner, Natalie told Jason that she’s damned sick of being stereotyped just because she’s blonde and enjoys shopping. There’s more to her, there really is. Like, she loves bears, too. All kinds of bears.
After that revelation, Natalie seemed shocked that Jason gave her the boot. He told her that she seemed to want to explore herself (hee hee). Natalie responded that she’d explored herself (hee hee) quite enough, thank you. (Like how did he think she ever came to that conclusion about bears? That obviously required some serious introspection.) Natalie huffed and puffed but it was no use; some faceless brute emerged to strip of her diamonds and send her away.
The pre-rose ceremony social was full of dramz. Everyone said that everyone else threw them under the bus. They said, “You threw me under the bus!” over and over. They liked the ring of it, I guess. Then that crazy ringmaster Chris Harrison called on all the girls to tell why they hate Megan. (Hey Chris, save something for “The Women Tell All.”) It was all so stressful that Shannon the dental hygienist had to run to the bathroom and vomit (thanks for the audio on that, ABC!). Jason won my heart when he offered her some ginger ale, my cure-all of choice.
In the end, Jason sent Talky Erica and Silent Kari home. Do you think he made the right choices? And when do you think Megan will be sent to, uh, that big lacrosse field offscreen?