The Hills: The She-Pratt Makes Her Move

Last night brought–finally!–the much anticipated, much foreshadowed She-Pratt betrayal: Stephanie and Doug went on a date. They were totally secretive (except that Stephanie had already told Spencer and Audrina, who told Lo and Heidi, and there were, um, cameras there) but then Brody’s nosy mother ruined everything!  

Before that went down, though, Lauren ran off to Italy, where high-heels are apparently forbidden. The trip wasn’t explained, which made me think it maybe had something to do with LC’s “global branding” initiative or some other part of her “real life,” which must never be mentioned on the reality show. But! It was just a boring family trip, as these pics show.

Anyway, with Lauren away, Audrina experienced her own version of la dolce vita, freely using the kitchen and even laying out by the pool with a strawberry margarita. But her bliss was cut short by a visit from the She-Pratt, who sought permission to date Doug. Aundrina mumbled something about “being careful” as Stephanie wondered how LC could possibly find out. Oh, I dunno. You’ve told one of her close friends who will now tell everyone? Or like, you’re on a TV show and you’re being filmed all the time? Or Brody’s mom will catch you?

As Steph and Dougie basked in the candlelight at Beso (owned by famed restauranter Eva Longoria Parker), I couldn’t help but think they were kind of a good match: Stephanie, with her awkward hair and shiny pink lips and tacky necklace of blue baubles; Doug, with his large head and dim grin and ever-present V-neck tee-shirt—-well, these crazy kids just might have a shot! But then Brody’s mom, whose face was a disturbing preview of what Heidi’s will look like in about 30 years, totally caught them. Everyone said, “You look so pretty!” and “Nice meeting you!” 100 times, and then Brody’s mom hurried off to tell her son about her brush with evil.

Meanwhile, Audrina and Justin Bobby  (now identified as “Audrina’s boyfriend” when he appears—an upgrade, no?) spent quality time with Spencer and Heidi. Spencer attempted to engage JB in a discussion about The Dark Knight  (Spencer: “It should have been called The Joker!”) that went absolutely nowhere. Heidi said she’s just relieved (“Praise Jesus!”) to be away from all the drama with LC and Stephanie. Praise Jesus, indeed.

When LC returned, declaring that Italy was “like a construction site” of men desperately calling out to her, she didn’t seem too happy (maybe because the Italian sun didn’t fix her brown upper lip problem?).  Later, Brody told Lauren about the She-Pratt’s betrayal, musing, “It’s kind of ironic.” Clearly, he was using “ironic” in that Alanis Morissette sort of way, meaning wrongly. (The lyrics to “Ironic” are made actually ironic here.) Then Brody, who hooked up with LC’s bestie Jen Bunney, rupturing their decade-long friendship and subsequently casting Bunney out of the charmed circle forever, spoke about the importance of loyalty and friendship and honor. Kind of ironic.

What do you think? Should Stephanie have gone out with Doug? Should Doug have gone out with Stephanie? Should The Dark Knight have been called The Joker?


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