The Hills: We’re All Totally Doomed, But Maybe Heidi’s Sister Can “Peace Everything Out”

We’re experiencing the worst financial crisis in maybe 100 years, Sarah Palin [and I must quote Ed Koch here] “scares the hell out of me,” and it seems like the world is hurtling towards certain doom. But we still have The Hills, right? And maybe if Lauren and Heidi could just be friends again, the entire universe would magically fall back in line.

Last night, Heidi’s older sister Holly tried mightily to instigate peace talks between LC and Heidi. First, she met Lauren for lunch. “Heidi is feeling overwhelmed with how badly everything turned out with you guys,” Holly said as Lauren nodded warily. Then Holly waxed nostalgic about how much fun they all used to have. But LC, her upper lip an unbecoming shade of dirt brown (perhaps a result of a tanning accident?), remained noncommittal. She later said that all the dramz with Stephanie made her reluctant to poach yet another Speidi relative.

Heidi was none too pleased when she learned of the Holly-Lauren meeting. “You guys are both my little sisters!” Holly protested. “But I am your little sister,” Heidi pointed out, in a rare moment of clarity. Holly said she’d done it all for Heidi’s benefit, adding, “Nothing is beyond repair. I could tell that she misses you.”

Meanwhile, just as Audrina mended her friendships with Lauren and Lo, her relationship with Justin Bobby fell apart. We’d all been waiting for the new and improved JB to revert to form and he did last night, failing to show at Audrina’s big work event: A concert by The White Tie Affair, remarkable for being the sweatiest band in the history of ever. [My mom: “Why are those guys so wet?”]

Anyway, LC showed up and bobbed her head at the weird show. Hell, even Lo showed up and greeted Audrina with, “Hi sweetie!” But JB, despite his promises to attend, was absent (cut to Audrina’s sad face amidst a throng of happy concert-goers).

Later, Heidi, in what seemed like the first honest emotion she has displayed in eons (maybe her face finally relaxed?), admitted to a friend: “I never even had a best friend like [Lauren]. I said things out of anger that I didn’t mean. Maybe Holly will peace everything out. Maybe one day, by some miracle, we’ll be friends again.” But Lauren told Stephanie that, while she misses Heidi, she didn’t have high hopes for a reconciliation.

What do you think? Will Heidi and Lauren ever be friends again, or was Lauren’s “forgive you, forget you” statement the final word on the matter? Will JB ever get his head on straight? Will LC’s upper lip be okay?

Oh and another thing: I read that Whitney’s new NYC-based show is called The City. Really? That’s the best they could do?

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