The Hills: Our Recurring Nightmare?

On August 18, Season 4 of The Hills starts on MTV. That is, if you can make it through whatever lame, two-hour-long “world premiere” that MTV has likely dreamed up to torture us: Red carpet arrivals, some pointless musical guest, and “exclusive” interviews with people like Brent Bolthouse, followed by 15 minutes of the actual show.

As you can tell, I have mixed feelings about the return of The Hills. Let’s face it: That last “bonus season” sucked. I have my doubts that the show can regain the magic of Season 2.

Why? Well, as the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly  points out (and exemplifies, by the fact that Lauren is on the cover) our girls have very small “non-fame” lives now.  Lauren has her fashion line, her AT&T commercials, her “global brand.” Heidi has her own clothing line and her “music” (heh). Audrina is making her movie debut. And Whitney is probably getting a spin-off.

I think that, in order to bear any resemblance to actual reality, The Hills will have to incorporate this uh…obvious reality. Otherwise, it’s just silly. Or maybe it’ll end. Lauren says so to EW: ”Every season, I think it’s the last. Right now, I think this is the last season.”

The EW cover photo takes its inspiration from one of Lauren’s recurring nightmares: She dreams that she’s being filmed while she’s sleeping. (Wait. They don’t film her while she sleeps? My god, what have we missed?) But The Hills is starting to feel like our long, national recurring nightmare. Take this quote from MTV exec Tony DiSanto: ”It’s almost becoming like a novel at this point, like this generation’s A Tale of Two Cities or Oliver Twist.”

Excuse me, I suddenly feel the urge to go … read a book or something.

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