Decision ’08: The World Reacts

So it’s the day after the day after The Bachelor chose his mate and you’re not sure how to feel (especially after the future bride of an English gentleman stripped down for sleazy Girls Gone Wild). Let’s take a deep breath and try to make sense of it all as we peruse the news coverage:

  • From The Daily News: Shayne: “We’re not rushing into marriage right away, but we’re engaged, 100%. There’s a ring on my finger, baby. I am taken. As far as the wedding, we’ll make those plans when we’re ready.” Matt on future Daddy-In-Law Lorenzo Lamas: “I spoke to Lorenzo recently and we’re looking forward to doing ‘Renegade 2,’ father and son-in-law … A 6-foot-5, 240-pound Brit on the back of his Harley.”
  • From In the future, when Matt and Shayne let their grandchildren watch the run-up to their engagement, they will “TiVo through the other girls,” says Shayne. Makes sense. Also: Matt’s mum calls Shayne “monkey!” Aww.
  • From Matt and Shayne have invented an alter ego for Matt named “Bob,” whom they blame for the things Matt did on the show that Shayne does not like. (As in, “I wish Bob hadn’t made out with Chelsea quite so much.”) Also: Matt does not rule out trying his hand at acting. Good god.
  • From Entertainment Weekly: “In the end, it came down to Chelsea’s energy versus Shayne’s warmth and total devotion to Matt (which he preferred to describe as ‘not having a selfish bone in her body.’)”
  • From The Mirror (London): Matt’s parents “cannot wait for the wedding.” Apparently, no one told them about the whole “not rushing” thing. Whoops.
  • From me: If these two ever split, the perfect headline would be: “This Monkey’s Gone to Heaven.” (Pixies fans? Anyone?)

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4 Responses to “Decision ’08: The World Reacts”

  1. Midwest Molly Says:

    Nice Pixies reference.

    So now we have Bob…in sticking with the Monkey theme why not call him Curious George.

    Monkey: Curious George, why did you smile when you saw Chelsea in her night dress? Why did you kiss Chelsea?
    CG: Um, hello, I’m a curious kind of guy. Come here, it’s okay, I have a banana.

    The real question: What does Curious George make of his monkey climbing onto the cover of Girls Gone Wild? I’m still surprised by it. Really Girls Gone Wild? Granted, I didn’t expect the future Mrs. Grant on the cover of Good Housekeeping but what an odd choice.

  2. theultimatecheese Says:

    Curious George=Awesomeness.

    I still haven’t grasped the Girls Gone Wild thing. I mean, Matt must have known about it. He must have been okay with it, right? Because if you’re planning to pose in little more than a wedding veil in a magazine, you’d probably tell your fiance?

    And I guess “After the Final Rose” is DOA because Matt + Monkey have already given their joint press interviews, which are normally saved for the show. Chelsea, meanwhile, is MIA. But I’m sure she appreciated this headline from her local news: “‘Bachelor’ Dumps Coloradan, Proposes To Actress.”

  3. Linda Says:

    Yes an odd choice, I wonder if she is launching the magazine, either way, I loved Shayne. I loved when she pulled out all her make up on the ski slope…….high maintenance for sure, but so cute!! I’m glad Matt didn’t chose cold fish Chelsea.

  4. “This Monkey’s Gone to Heaven…” « The Ultimate Cheese Says:

    […] I told you I would use that headline! Pixies, […]

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