Hello Again! Remember That Time I Dumped You?

The Bachelor: The Women Tell All: These “women tell all” episodes have always struck me as sadistic exercises. Everyone has to come back and grin through clenched teeth while smarmy Chris Harrison relentlessly probes their heartache and tries to extract tears (ratings). Then the poor Bachelor emerges and all the women pounce and he has to re-explain why he dumped them. An uncomfortable time had by all! But Chris mostly kept it clean last night, the mood was jovial, and everyone seemed to have some perspective on the situation, even (gasp!) Pinchy Face Robin. Robin looked more relaxed (she smiled!) but I do find all that “I’ve never gotten along with girls” stuff a tiresome excuse for her behavior on the show. Look, if you’ve made it through high school, you’ve encountered at least one (probably more) “mean girl.” Everyone has been teased and picked on. Everyone has been gossiped about and excluded. Seek therapy. Cry it out. Write in your journal. But putting on a pinchy face and deciding you simply “don’t get along with women” is lame.

Onward to Marshana, who came off actually sane as in “Hey, I know who I am and I have flaws.” But her anger did flare for a sec and she declared: “Robin! You are dismissed!” Heh.

Okay, so the climax of these things is when they put the most recently dumped lady on the hot seat—and then force her to awkwardly confront the Bachelor and ask him what exactly it is about her that he does not find appealing. Amanda was an awfully good sport through this ritual (even through the “Meep Montage.” gah.). Though I did catch her rolling her eyes when Chris described her as “sent home in tears” for about the millionth time. (We all have our limits.) She didn’t apologize for the d-bag comment (which drew cheers from the audience when replayed) and it wasn’t directly addressed, probably because it would have had to be repeatedly beeped or whatever. But Amanda confessed: “I’m just as confused now as I was when I left.” She also said that she thought her elimination was a prank at first, Matt’s way of getting back at her for hiring fake parents.

So Matt finally strolled out sporting a shaved head (um, hot). He was, as always, eloquent though he does have a verbal tic: the phrase “if I’m honest,” which he often says at the beginning or end of his sentences. It’s kinda annoying. If I’m honest. Well, you should be honest! Always! No if-s! Anyway, Matt offered a weird new reason for dumping Amanda—he said it was because she never used the word “love.” I’m not buying that as the reason, are you? If that was really troubling him, why didn’t he ask her about it in Barbados, the same way he asked Shayne and Chelsea about things that were bothering him? It doesn’t make any sense if I’m honest. Amanda pressed a bit more and Matt cut her off with: “That’s just how I felt, I’m afraid” and “I don’t have all the answers for you.” Eeesh.

Okay, so next week! Big finale. I’m confused as to why they go back to Barbados for the proposal. Why don’t they just do it in London?

And another thing: I saw a billboard for The Bachelorette in Times Square this morning (and if my camera phone was worth a damn I’d share it with you). It showed all these guys sort of standing in the waves on a beach, clamoring for DeAnna, who was perched above them on a lifeguard chair. Eh. I dunno I feel about this. Are you excited for The Bachelorette?



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5 Responses to “Hello Again! Remember That Time I Dumped You?”

  1. Midwest Molly Says:

    I thought last night was pretty tame (lame). Stacey “Lacey Panty” got way too much face time. You remember, the blonde that threated to kill all the girls and their families, stuffed a rather large white lacey thong into Matt’s pocket and yucked it up in front of the camera with gangsta poses and lip curls. And all in an hour’s time that first night.
    But kudos to her for showing up (with cotton briefs in hand), I guess.

    I thought the gals looked great. You’re right, Robin seemed relaxed — tanned and toned. Less pinch, more smile. As always, Amanda looked stunning — and then stunned by Matt’s reasons for letting her go in Barbados. She, with the probing help of Harrison, said she was confident going into that rose ceremony for the first time because of some serious “connecting” they had done. Just no love-bombs.

    Why didn’t Noelle say anything? I wanted to hear from her, one of my favorites.

    And the mane attraction — Matty’s cropped buzz with some facial hair. V. nice. But if I’m honest with you, the wrinkled brown dress shirt (too tight) wasn’t doing it for me.

    I think Chelsea could take it next week. She seems more Burberry than Shayne.

  2. theultimatecheese Says:

    Yes, how come Noelle didn’t get to chime in?

    Lacy Panties got waaaay too much time, true. That was a lame, clunky moment when she handed off the new panties. Yawn.

    So—will you be watching the Bachelorette?

  3. Midwest Molly Says:

    I don’t know. I took a break from the Brad Bachelor (still recovering from my Italian prince) so I’m not invested. Yet. But the gal seems charming enough, and who doesn’t want a fairy tale ending?!

    Do you think they’ll bring back Jerry? The scrumptious actor that Jen Shifflet threw back in the sea. Here’s hoping.

  4. theultimatecheese Says:

    What’s up with your fancy new avatar? Hee hee

    Even though I watched the Brad season, I don’t feel invested either. I felt bad for DeAnna at the time, but now I barely remember it. And I think the Jen Schefft “I choose me” season might have ruined me for The Bachelorette. In other words: I’m sure I’ll end up watching it.

  5. Karen Says:

    I’m not excited for any more of these stupid dating reality shows but, I am excited to read about it on this blog! thanks for watching so i dont have too!!

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