Amanda is (Meep!) Not So Quiet, After All

The Bachelor Episode 7 Recap: Well! Do you think the term “douchebag” translates across cultures? Heh. Either way, I’m sure Matt got Amanda’s point last night. Though we all knew Amanda was next in line to go, she, apparently, did not realize this. And boy, was she mad!

Before we get to the ugly (yet hilarious) denouement, though, let’s remember the happy times. So! Three lucky ladies headed to Barbados this week. Shayne, in her delightful floppy hat, continued to charm Matt, who has referred to her in the last few episodes as his “little monkey.” Aww! But Matt has some concerns: Is Shayne’s ditziness a put-on or, er, is that really the way she is? Can she indulge his deep yearning to discuss the ins and outs of our upcoming presidential election? (Note to Matt: If political discussions are really what do it for you, maybe you should have kept that Karl Rove aide you eliminated in Week 1. Just sayin’!) I’m not sure how I would respond if someone was basically questioning whether I’m smart enough to make a good partner, but Shayne remained cheerfully confident and insisted she had nothing to prove.

On to Chelsea, who fared less well. Much less well. She continued to enforce her No-Romance rule and, well, Matt said it best himself after his encounter with a sympathetic sea turtle: “The turtle was closer to me physically than Chelsea. I had better eye contact with the turtle.” An aside: It was kind of a nice change to see this truly awkward date. I mean, the date seemed hellish and that was real. The Bachelor tends to gloss over moments like that with champagne and rose petals. Anyway, as she did a few episodes ago (when she wrote her own fantasy suite card), Chelsea got nervous and totally overcompensated for her earlier lack of affection. This time, she donned a slinky “night dress” as Matt called it (and WTF was up with those slo-mo-ish shots of her getting changed? Seriously?) The thing is, though, how does that help, really? It momentarily makes things better, but it seems like Chelsea has a problem and I don’t think it has all that much to do with the other women. (Remember her hand-holding phobia? And even when she supposedly poured out her heart at dinner, she still wasn’t looking Matt in the eye.) Anyway, I’m no shrink (ha!) but I think her issues run deeper than she’s letting on and the “night dress,” like her earlier fantasy suite trick, is just a band-aid.

So Amanda, who had tried to express herself on her date, was genuinely shocked at her elimination. And I was shocked at how she handled it—didn’t expect that from a gal from Niceville, Fla. (I have to say, I laughed out loud when she let loose with the D-word.) So, was her earlier meekness an act? Or does that kind of outrage just naturally emerge when we’re scorned? Also—did she always use “like” so much between like every like other like word like? But the painful encounter between her and Matt just illustrated that you can’t argue your way out of dumped. And if you push enough, you’ll just hear the horrible truth, which no one really wants to hear. In this case, Matt finally said: “I feel for you. I just don’t feel for you enough.” Ouch.

So in two weeks, London actually does call! Finally! The ladies are off to meet Matt’s family in the U.K. and then someone is getting a ring. So, who will it be: Shayne or Chelsea? And, who should it be?

Oh and another thing: For the past few weeks, the photos section of the ABC Web site has been worthless, so the boring headshot will have to suffice.

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