The Hills: Would You Like Some Judgement With Your Grapefruit?

Photo Courtesy MTV

Ladies, we’ve all been there. You reconnect with an ex for some godforsaken reason (like boredom). Maybe you even fool yourself into being slightly excited about this development. After all, your ex is a good time, a fun guy to have drinks with, hang with (maybe even take a motorcycle ride with!). And he’s changed! He’s stopped drinking, stopped burping, stopped making out with other girls in front of you—for one night at least. So the next morning, before you can help yourself, you’re confiding the details to your friend. The judgey one. (You know the one.) The one who wrinkles her nose, gets up on her high horse, and acts like you’re clearly an idiot. And she would never be so dumb/desperate.  

Lauren played the Judgey Friend last night (she’s getting quite comfortable in that role) on The Hills. Props to Audrina for gently reminding LC about her own nasty habit of recycling boyfriends. To which Lauren said: “I stopped going back to Jason.” Yea, you did. Because he got engaged to someone else right in front of you. How quickly the Judgey Friend forgets! Sheesh.

The ex at the center of the drama, of course, was Justin Bobby, who made his much-anticipated return last night, looking like Indiana Jones in his hat and leather jacket. Shockingly, JB did seem much more on the ball this time around. He actually listened to what Audrina said and even responded! He was also an enthusiastic part of The Most Awkward Table Eva, a historic event that took place at Goa. Other participants included: Heidi, the She-Pratt, Lo, Lauren, and Audrina. The Most Awkward Table Eva was truly a treat. Of course, Lauren ruined it all by bolting. (Seriously, though, how could Heidi think everything would be fine? “Old water under the bridge,” eh? Not quite. Even Spencer, who is amazingly deluded, isn’t that deluded.)

Anyway, I feel bad for Audrina, now the odd woman out. Hearing Lo and Lauren cackle (seriously cackle!) about their plans to torture her future boyfriends was frightening. It seemed mean-spirited. Oh and who pops up next week but Stephen Colletti, Lauren’s Laguna Beach ex! But I’m sure Lauren wouldn’t do anything totally dumb like go to dinner with an ex (especially an ex that played her so badly, dating her and former nemesis Kristin Cavallari at the same time). No, Lauren’s waaaay too smart for that.

Oh and another thing: So Lauren changed jobs just like that? No tearful goodbye with Lisa Love? No montage of best moments from The Closet? It’s not right. I need closure, people.


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3 Responses to “The Hills: Would You Like Some Judgement With Your Grapefruit?”

  1. Jane Says:

    I wondered how they parted too! Are they ever going to mention her not going back to Teen Vogue? Has MTV really gotten so lazy that they’re not even trying to tie up the loose ends anymore? Obviously, yes. Why am I even asking?

  2. Midwest Molly Says:

    So with all the unusual same-sex coupling going on this season (alliances will be formed, lives will be changed forever…er, something like that) between Heidi and Audrina, Lauren and She-Pratt, may I suggest Kristin Cavallari, Lauren’s pre-Heidi nemesis during the Laguna Beach days, AND Whitney. Now that would be fun. A season full of awkward table scenarios.
    I’m sure back-from-the-Beach Steven still has KC’s digits. And I know of a job opening at Teen Vogue. Done and done.

    Sidenote: Anyone else notice that the musical onslaught didn’t seem so bad or obvious
    this week? Hopefully, MTV cuts down on all those 20-second snippets. Hello, MTV?! You stopped caring about and playing music years ago. But The Hills are indeed alive with the sound of music.

  3. theultimatecheese Says:

    I can’t accept it! I need a proper Teen Vogue goodbye.

    I agree, the music was not quite as bad this week. Actually, I thought this episode was altogether one of the better ones of this “bonus season.”

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