The Bachelor Episode 3 recap: Okay, confession: I kind of like Shayne! I don’t know how it happened! I think, perhaps, with her love of spray tanning and cheesy shoes, she reminds me of the girls of my youth (it’s a short distance from Jersey to Malibu…who knew?). Anyway, this week Shayne got a coveted “alone date” with Bachelor Matt and the two did some wine tasting. As Shayne began to look confused and slur her words, I could imagine the future Boozy Housewife Shayne, couldn’t you? I found it sort of disarming when she copped to being high-maintenance, but why doesn’t she just come out with it already about her dad, Lorenzo Lamas? The more she shrouds his identity in mystery, the more Matt begins to think she’s the spawn of DeNiro. (And what about when she referred to her “family of actors”—as though they were the Barrymores!) Why not just say, “Yea, my dad played the loser in Grease” and get it over with? Besides, Matt is going to meet Daddy Lamas if Shayne makes it to family visits (OMG, wouldn’t that be the funniest family visit eva? Maybe they’ll all spray tan together as a bonding ritual to welcome Matt into the fold.)
Love her or hate her, you have to admit Shayne is the only one giving Matt a run for his money at this point. He seems actually nervous around her and confessed to feeling “like a 16-year-old boy.” And aside from the sweet girls who have just faded meekly into the background (the hiccuping chick and others like her), everyone else is just throwing themselves at the guy. Especially Pinchy Face Robin, who is sort of awful. To Robin, Love is a Battlefield! Even if the battlefield is a rugby field! She vows to do “whatever it takes” (including stealing Matt away from the other girls and trying to psych people into leaving). By next week, Chris Harrison will likely be anointing her “the most hated woman in Bachelor history.”
As for Matt, he nearly lost me when he said he was really into George “Father Figure” Michael. Yes, that one! But he redeemed himself in the next scene by foregoing the bubbly for some Guinness. At the end, he said goodbye to Erin S. (hot dog vendor), Amy, and Kristine, who touchingly admitted that she has a hard time opening up. (Don’t worry, honey. If tradition holds, you’ll be married and have a reporting gig on your local TV station very shortly.)
So how are we feeling about the remaining contenders and, also, our Bachelor?
Oh and another thing: No one sang! Thanks for that.