The Bachelor’s Theater of Pain


Episode 2 Recap: Note to the ladies of The Bachelor: Stop singing! For the love of God, please stop singing! Stop singing opera or crap songs you wrote yourself. Stop playing the clarinet or piano or acoustic guitar. Stop all performing immediately. Just stop. 

Sorry, I had to get that off  my chest. As you can (maybe!) tell, last night’s episode got out of hand. It’s beginning to look (sound) like a really crap version of American Idol up in the Bachelor house. Thankfully, Matt got rid of some of the worst offenders last night. But before we get to that unpleasantness, let’s review. A group of really unlucky ladies had a group date that consisted of them strutting (well, trying) in a fashion show in an effort to please the Bachelor. The other bunch of ladies were considerably more fortunate on their group date. They went to Vegas, where whoever won the most money gambling got precious private time with Matt. (Love really is a crapshoot, after all.) Anyway, Shayne had a hissy fit/epiphany, saying that although she wants to get to know Matt “There is [sic] other girls here who want to get to know him just as well!” Um, yes. Hence, the show. Then she took her concerns to Matt explaining that it hurt her to see other girls “eyeing” for his attention. Later, she locked herself in the bathroom and debated whether to go home, wailing that the whole thing had simply become too real. Listen, Shayne: You’re not allowed to start with the whole “this is too real” bit yet. It’s only Week 2. Save it for the fantasy overnight dates, ‘kay? (And yes, I do think she might get that far.)

After suffering through too many serenades, Matt said goodbye to Carri (opera singer), Erin H. (didn’t perform–thank you, Erin H.!), and the most tragic, Michelle (clarinet player/singer of own terrible songs) who cried and declared that her cat is actually the love of her life.

Twelve ladies left. To my viewing partner’s dismay, Matt kept Shayne around. What do you think: Should he have sent her packing?


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