The Hills: Paris Changes Practically Nothing

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Really? That’s all we get of Paris? After all that build-up about the City of Lights, Lauren and Whitney’s Paris stay seemed to be, uh, one week. (Apparently, that’s long enough to change everything and also give Lauren enough inspiration for the entire Lauren Conrad Collection. So, good did come out of it!) But the girls saw little of the city, besides swilling some champagne at the Eiffel Tower and being tricked into wearing fancy dresses to a smoky club where everyone else is in jeans. Anyway, the big drama in Paris is not Lauren’s fake love affair with a French rocker (That was a big yawn. Basically, she rode around on a Vespa with him for 10 minutes) but, rather, how she left her fancy ball gown near her hot curling iron, causing unsightly burns. (“Curling irons do that??” Whitney asks in disbelief. Oh, Whitney.) Could Lauren really be that dumb or do you think MTV did it for her? But not to worry, with the ball just one hour away, Lauren manages to run over to the shop and get a new perfectly-fitting dress, no questions asked! Sheesh.

Meanwhile in Crested Butte, Colo. (heh, I just love the sound of that), Spencer has come to town to win back Heidi, though he seems rather half-hearted about it. (Earlier Spencer’s sister, Stephanie Pratt, basically told him he was a complete loser with no hope for redemption, which was kind of awesome.) Honestly, though, Spencer looks bad. Remember when he used to swagger? Remember when he was Playboy Spence? Now he’s just a broken man with some sad facial hair, wandering the snowy streets of Crested Butte alone with wilted roses, looking for Heidi. But how can he possibly recognize Heidi when her face has changed so dramatically? Between the new lips, the new nose, and some seriously misguided bronzer application, Fembot Heidi looks positively frightening. But she manages to lay down the law, telling Spencer, “I want my friends back. I want my whole life back.” In response, he makes some painful noises, and says, “All you do is keep stabbing me!” In the end, he heads back to L.A. alone.

So what did we learn? Well, curling irons will burn when left unattended, even in Paris. There’s only one French rap song in the world, apparently (this episode featured the same one that was used in the last episode of Sex and the City back in 2004). And the Crillon Ball looks like a huge snore. Seriously, skip it if you’re ever in Paris.

What did everyone think? I thought this episode was definitely better than the finale, but the Paris portions were a bit of a letdown.

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4 Responses to “The Hills: Paris Changes Practically Nothing”

  1. Mean Maxine Says:

    Ms. Cheese:
    Great blogging! I agree the Paris portions were a let down….I can’t believe they were only there for one week. Really…..one week?
    I didn’t realize there was inspiration for the Lauren Conrad Collection, well other than a quick visit to American Apparel.
    I thought this episode made Lauren look like a senseless tool. Or perhaps it was just the first episode in which I could no longer come up with excuses for her! Can she make a decent decision? Who would think that wearing an evening gown two nights in a row is a good idea? From the airport scenes it looked like she had enough luggage for a month…….c’mon….no appropriate attire in any of those bags…..she had to rig up her evening gown….to go to the club? Please…?!?

  2. theultimatecheese Says:

    I knooow! Looking at all those suitcases, the idea that Lauren had not ONE suitable going-out dress really stretched the imagination. The finale showed her packing at least a dozen pairs of heels alone!

  3. Midwest Molly Says:

    Ms. Cheese, Mean Maxine and everyone else that now looks forward to Monday nights…

    The MTV machine never let on that this was just a one-week stay in Paris. Disappointing.

    And someone please tell me what was with the premiere party “Glitzy in Gotham?” There’s Lauren. Whitney. Audrina….and Mariah Carey. It was fun, though, to hear Mariah symphathize with Lauren about curling irons gone wild. Her song performance, not so much.

    Here’s what I do know: I missed Audrina in the premiere. I wished the cameras were with her back in LA when she ran into Brody and co. at Les Deux.

    Till next Monday, when we’re back in LA.

    I think we all could use a rebondir since Lauren’s fell flat.

  4. theultimatecheese Says:

    Agreed re: Audrina and “Glitzy in Gotham.” Why was it in NYC? (They kept talking up the glamorous crowd and then showing Brent Bolthouse sitting miserably below.) And WTF Mariah Carey? Mimi? I loved when they asked her whether she actually watched The Hills and she responded with a throaty, “Say whaaa?”

    Oh and as my first EVA commenter, Mean Maxine is getting a prize!! I’m not sure what, just yet, but NOT a piece from the Lauren Conrad Collection 🙂

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